MLB First Impressions - American League

I've decided to take the baseball previews in a new direction this year.  More brevity, less rambling.  I'm just going to take a look at each team's depth chart on MLB.com and ESPN.com and jot down some first impressions.  Yankees fans, I hope you enjoy this, because we won't be enjoying anything else for the next six months.

Tampa Bay Rays
Tampa finally did what they should have done three years ago and turned a couple of their pitchers into an impact bat.  Wil Myers is a hitting savant, Rays fans (all 22 of them) will love his work.  I do think Tampa will miss B.J. Upton.  I know he's awful most of the time, but he also has those two week runs where he can just carry a team.  They'll miss that.  But the Rays still have excellent pitching and perfectly adequate offense.  Tampa is still the best team in this division as far as I'm concerned.

Boston Red Sox
This Boston team has "wait, how are they good?" written all over them.  You know who the best manager in the world is?  Anyone who isn't Bobby Valentine.  If Ellsbury and Lester and Buchholz can all stay healthy and be productive, I like Boston for a wild card.  On the other hand, this is my last year of patience with Jon Lester.  If he can't get it together this year, then next year's baseball preview starts with "what the hell happened to Jon Lester?"

Baltimore Orioles
I read an article on ESPN.com that told me Baltimore could field two starting rotations with all the pitching they have.  That may be true, but I'm not convinced either one of those rotations would be any good.  Plus, this is supposed to be the year that Buck Showalter leaves and then some fraud comes in and takes all the credit for what he set up (cough, cough...Joe Torre...cough, cough).  With Buck staying, I have no idea what's supposed to happen now, but I'm not convinced Baltimore can make the playoffs two years in a row. 

New York Yankees
This is all so depressing, but honestly, it isn't all the injuries to the offense that have me down.  I think this team can still hit.  It's the pitching.  You can say the bullpen looks good with Rivera back, but how good are they going to look when the starters are giving them 2 innings every night.  I couldn't possibly hate this rotation more.  Why is Andy Pettitte still here?  Go away Andy Pettitte!  Please!  Ugh.  I may skip the extra innings package this season just so I don't have to watch this.

Toronto Blue Jays
What am I missing here?  Toronto won 73 games last year.  In the off-season they added a guy coming off a steroid suspension (which means he'll either go back to sucking like he used to or he'll get suspended again and they'll lose him for 100 games), a 72 year old knuckleballer and the core of a 69 win Marlins team.  I'm having trouble understanding why people think this all adds up to awesome.  I still don't trust Toronto's pitching, and I'll never trust Jose Bautista. 

Detroit Tigers
Remember the first year after Lebron went to Miami?  The Heat spent the season trying to figure out how to play together, then they went to the finals and lost to a pretty mediocre Dallas team.  The second season for Miami was championship or bust.  Same in Detroit this year.  I've stopped waiting for Justin Verlander's shoulder to explode, I guess he's just a freak.  Detroit still has some bullpen issues, but they should be good to go for a division title.

Kansas City Royals
Wild card for the Royals!  You heard me.  The Royals finally have a rotation, with fastballs and breaking pitches and everything.  Just like a real team!  Solid bullpen, and this team can hit son.  I'm telling you, if they weren't the Royals, I wouldn't be the only one putting them in the playoffs.  Then again, they are the Royals, so I guess we'll see.

Cleveland Indians
I had the Indians in the wild card spot until I looked at their depth chart and saw Scott Kazmir in their rotation.  You can't go to the playoffs with Scott Kazmir.  You just can't.  Having said that, this team can also hit.  If Ubaldo Jimenez can get himself together, Cleveland could be really good.  That's a big if though.  In a related story, Indians fans turned out to be the losers of the Who Gets to Watch 600 Nick Swisher At-bats This Season sweepstakes.  Get ready to hate life.

Chicago White Sox
Every year one team just screams 81-81 at me.  It's usually the Braves, but this year it's the White Sox.  Paul Konerko can't keep this up forever.  And how bad does Gordon Beckham have to be before we all give up on him?  He's a .245 career hitter, and last year he hit .234 (that's called trending in the wrong direction buddy).  I like Jake Peavy and Addison Reed, and I hate pretty much everything else.

Minnesota Twins
I can't even talk about the Twins.  Two different websites have Vance Worley as their number 1 starter.  I really can't talk about them.  So I'm going to take this space to bash the Mets a little.  What happened to Mike Pelfrey?  How did they screw that up?  Everything about young Mike Pelfrey said "this guy's gonna be an ace".  Everything about current Mike Pelfrey says "I wish I had played for anyone other than the Mets". 

Los Angeles Angels
I'm a little worried about Albert Pujols, he's 33 and clearly starting to regress.  And I'm a little worried about Josh Hamilton in Los Angeles.  I heard they have cocaine there.  Having said that, I love Tommy Hanson for this team, and Mike Trout is Mike Trout, so I think they win the division. 

Texas Rangers
It was pretty hard for me to find a second place team in this division.  Texas was my natural inclination, then I looked at their rotation.  Then I looked at Oakland's roster.  Then back to Texas.  I'm going with the Rangers because I think they can still hit and Joe Nathan looks all the way back, but I don't see a wild card coming out of this division (which is sad, because they all get to play Houston a bunch of times).

Oakland A's
Oakland's done it with young pitching and a bunch of nobodys before, but that doesn't mean it works every time.  And this time they have to do it without Brad Pitt.  Also, the one thing people always forget to mention about Moneyball is that Oakland never actually won a championship, or even the American League.  I'm not saying Oakland can't be good, but there's a ceiling.

Seattle Mariners
To believe Seattle can contend, you have to believe King Felix can carry them, because the rest of that rotation is a mess.  And I'm not so sure I believe anymore.  Five straight seasons over 200 innings, and ERAs above 3 the last two seasons.  I'm not saying he'll be bad, but 2009/2010 Felix is gone, and I don't think he's coming back.

Houston Astros
Love the uniform upgrade, hate everything else.

AL MVP: Robinson Cano.  I know I said the Yankees will be terrible, and they will, but I think this is one of those years when nobody from a contender really stands out and someone from a losing team puts up huge numbers and gets the MVP.

AL Cy Young: David Price.  I can't just pick Justin Verlander, and I refuse to pick a Weaver.  Plus, if Tampa is actually going to win the AL East, they'll probably need Price to put up Cy Young numbers.

AL Champs:  I like Tampa, I really do.  I know Detroit is probably a safer pick, but I like Tampa.

It's Baseball Time Again! - AL Central

Can anyone in this division challenge Detroit? The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooo. The only possible challenger is Chicago, but they lost their ace, their closer, their manager and they didn't lose Adam Dunn. Minnesota can always be feisty, but they don't have anything for the Tigers.  Cleveland isn't ready yet.  We'll be able to call this division by August.

Detroit Tigers

Good News: The Tigers can hit. I mean really hit. Miguel Cabrera's lowest totals in the last three seasons are .324/30HR/103RBI. That's what you get if you make one season out of the worst of Miguel's last three. Prince Fielder might be chasing 300 pounds, but he's also a lock for at least 30 homers and an on-base percentage at or above .400. No weak spots in this line-up (even the shortstop hits more like a third baseman). Oh, and that Verlander guy is pretty good too.

Bad News: The Tigers can't catch, like, at all. Cabrera will be lucky to make opening day after he fielded a grounder with his face. The second baseman is just a converted outfielder. The shortstop really should be playing third base. The only good defensive player they have on the infield is Brandon Inge, and he'll be watching Cabrera butcher his position all year. Nothing is more infuriating for a baseball fan than watching your team botch a routine defensive play, and I predict lots of TV's flying out windows in Michigan this summer.

Anything else we need to know?: Justin Verlander has gone over 200 innings in each of the last five seasons, and he went just over 250 last year. This is either a sign that he's super durable, or that his arm is about to fall off. Durable seems more likely, but Tigers fans better keep their fingers crossed just to be sure.

Prediction: First place, but you need to be able to catch a little in the post-season.

Cleveland Indians

Good News: Shin-Soo Choo (or as I like to call him, the choo choo train) is back and should get back to hitting around .300 with 20 or so homeruns, 20 or so steals and 100 or so RBI.  Travis Hafner is back too.  Well, for now, until he gets hurt again, which he will.  I love Justin Masterson (I predict he'll finish in the top 10 in Cy Young voting this year) and the pitching staff as a whole isn't terrible.

Bad News: Everyone knows god hates Cleveland.  And even if that wasn't true (which it isn't, because even if god was real, he wouldn't give a shit about sports), the Indians have a lot of nice pieces, but they're missing the one guy who can carry them.  In contrast, Detroit has three of those guys.

Anything else we need to know?: I still believe in Ubaldo Jiminez.  Last year was really bad, and I have almost no evidence to back this up, but I think Ubaldo bounces back this year to the tune of an ERA under 3.50 and at least 15 wins.

Prediction: Second place.  I just don't think the Indians have what they need to push Detroit.

Chicago White Sox

Good News: I really don't mind Chicago's starting rotation. They don't have an ace, but they have a lot of decent arms. None of Chicago's starters would make me nervous as a White Sox fan, any of them can win any given game. As a Yankee fan who suffered through AJ Burnett last season, I know there's value in having five viable starters, none of whom are great, but none of whom are terrible.

Bad News: Gordon Beckham is 25 now, and he hit .230 last year. Alex Rios hit .227 last year. Paul Konerko is coming off two of his best three seasons ever, but he's 36 and I'm not sure he can keep it up. And then there's Dunn, who hit .159 last year in 415 at-bats. Seriously. Asking where the runs are going to come from would be an understatement. Other than Konerko, this offense is just awful.

Anything else we need to know?: White Sox fans are about to find out how boring a mediocre baseball team can be without Ozzie Guillen.  I also think Guillen, while clearly insane, may be one of the few managers in baseball who can actually effect game outcomes in a positive way.  We may find out that the White Sox are worse than we thought.

Prediction: Third place, probably can't be better, might be worse.

Minnesota Twins

Good News: Mauer and Morneau appear to be healthy and good to go.  Morneau really struggled last year, but I'm willing to give him one more year to see if he can bounce back now that he's healthy.  Josh Willingham makes a nice addition here too, they needed something from the right side.

Bad News: Life is all bad news when Carl Pavano is your opening day starter.  Carl Pavano will never be forgiven.  Do you hear me?  NEVER!

Anything else we need to know?: Matt Capps is one of the least inspiring closers in the game, and will probably lose his job to Glen Perkins by June 1st.  This will, of course, most likely result in some poor contending sap (please not the Yankees, please not the Yankees) trading for him in July and then being shocked and disappointed when he's terrible.  Sometimes I wonder if MLB GM's are allowed to watch baseball games.

Prediction: Fourth place.  I'm always sort of down on Minnesota, but this year I think I'm right.

Kansas City Royals

Good News: Lots of young talent (Hosmer, Moustakas, Lorenzo Cain) and Alex Gordon finally showed up last year.  Salvador Perez fell into the young talent category too, but he just had knee surgery.  Point is, I watched a lot of Royals games on my MLB package last summer, because they're interesting, and I'll probably watch a lot of Royals this summer too.

Bad News: Young doesn't necessarily mean they're good yet.  Also, something seems to have gone horribly wrong with Joakim Soria, and now I'm reading that he might need Tommy John surgery (again).  Their back-up closer is Jonathan Broxton, who was, of course, completely destroyed by Joe Torre. 

Anything else we need to know?: Luke Hochevar seems to be falling into the "never quite panned out" category.  And really, Kansas City's whole rotation is a concern.  Am I the only one who feels like Bruce Chen's been around forever?  Did the Braves call him up when he was 12 or something?

Prediction: Last place.  I want to believe.  I don't though.

New Toys

The trade deadline is one of the best parts of the baseball season, so much better than the deadlines in the other sports. The combination of the deep minor league systems and the clear distinction between contenders and non-contenders creates plenty of movement and the chance for us to see good teams get some new toys to play with.

In contrast, nothing ever happens at the football deadline. The basketball deadline is OK, but nothing special (plus, the basketball deadline, for the last few years, has been less about teams getting better and more about the endless quest for cap space). And hockey, well, as I've mentioned before, hockey doesn't really appear on my TV anymore.

As a fan, it's always fun to speculate on where different guys might end up, so let's do that.

The Yankees are the best team in baseball, and some people would say that means they don't need anything. Not me. I think the Yanks need a pitcher. I feel like Dan Haren might wind up in New York, but I really don't think he's a good fit. He's a terrible second half pitcher and he'll give up a ton of homers at the stadium. I'd look for the Yankees to go outside the box a little bit. Watch for them to make a run at the Royals, for Joakim Soria or Zack Greinke, or both.

The Mets are a catastrophe. I've watched the Mets quite a bit since the all-star break, they are awful. Unfortunately, the Mets don't really have any prospects that anyone else wants, and they don't really have anywhere to put a new bat. Maybe Brett Myers goes to the Mets, he can start or pitch the 8th inning. That's probably the best they can do. I also hear the Mets have been shopping Jeff Francoeur around. Good luck with that. A power hitter who doesn't get on base and really doesn't hit home runs anymore, where do I sign up?

Sidenote: The Mets really need a new manager. Jerry Manuel is awful, AWFUL! How awful? I saw him bring Oliver Perez into a game yesterday. I rest my case. Hey, they should get Willie Randolph! Oh wait, they already fired him for no good reason. Oh well.

The Red Sox don't really have anywhere to put a new bat or a new pitcher. I'd watch for them to add to their bullpen, if they do anything. What they really need is a doctor, Boston's season has been murdered by injuries. They should trade for House, the entire cast of Scrubs or Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

Tampa needs a right fielder. I've heard reports about them sniffing around Philly's Jayson Werth, but I'm not buying it. I don't see the Phillies quitting on this season, so they'd need something back that can help them right now. From Tampa, that's probably James Shields or Matt Garza, and I don't see Tampa doing that. I'd probably bet on Tampa doing nothing. Too bad they can't trade for a new stadium, the Pirates have one they're barely using.

Speaking of the Phillies, I don't know what's going on there. They seem to need a bat too, but they're another team that doesn't really have anywhere to put one of those, which adds them to the list of teams looking to add a pitcher. I'm guessing Ted Lilly winds up in Philadelphia, they don't need an ace and they can get Lilly pretty cheap. Also, Lilly rhymes with Philly, so there's that.

I'm not sure the Braves need anything, they look really good, and they recently got Jason Heyward back healthy. They're pretty old at the corner infield spots, so maybe they add some insurance there. If Atlanta's really feeling froggy, watch for them to get in on Dan Haren. I wouldn't be shocked if Haren ends up in Atlanta.

The Cardinals got really jumpy around the deadline last year, hell of a lot of good it did them. This year, word is they'll have to trade top pitching prospect Shelby Miller to get anything interesting, and I'm not sure they're willing to do that. When I look at the St. Louis roster, I think they ought to be able to get it done with the guys they already have, and I think they'll come to the same conclusion.

Part of the reason I don't expect anything from St. Louis is I don't expect the Reds to do anything either. However, if the Reds make a big move, I'd expect to see St. Louis get serious again in the Oswalt/Haren discussion. If Oswalt goes anywhere, I'm betting it's St. Louis, but only after a Reds move. Actually, if I had to put money on it, I'd probably bet on Oswalt staying put. He's got a no-trade he needs to waive and a 2012 option he wants picked up, lots of moving parts there, those deals often get left on the table at the deadline.

The White Sox are my guess for the annual terrible deadline deal, overpaying for Livan Hernandez or Zach Duke seems right up Chicago's alley. Meanwhile, I don't see the Twins doing much because, well, they're the Twins. I would have said the same thing about the Tigers, but now Magglio Ordonez is hurt and I expect them to be looking for an outfield bat, maybe Jose Guillen.

I really like the Giants. Buster Posey is better than any hitter they could have traded for. If Pablo Sandoval has a good second half (I think he will) they can probably win the division. I still expect them to pick up an outfield bat. I wonder if they could get Cleveland to trade Shin-soo Choo (or as I call him, the choo choo train, all aboard!).

Don't ask me about the Padres, I still wouldn't be surprised if they finish under .500. Between them and the Mariners, I don't think I should try making picks for either western division next year. I stand by my pre-season assessment of Seattle's roster. What can I say? Baseball's crazy sometimes, and Milton Bradley's crazy all the time.

If I'm the Dodgers, I get some extra bullpen help. George Sherrill has been terrible. Also, Joe Torre has destroyed so many relief pitchers that he should have an arm surgery named after him, so they'll need someone for whenever Jonathan Broxton's shoulder explodes. Either way, unless they get Manny back healthy for the last two months, the Dodgers are heading for third place.

I don't like Colorado's chances. Ubaldo Jimenez doesn't look right anymore, and they can't win without him. They might add an outfield bat, but I bet they stay put.

Texas may be the only AL west team worth talking about, and they already made their move. I may be the last baseball fan in the world to be totally sold on Cliff Lee, but I'm sold now, Cliff Lee is the man. I don't see how the Angels catch Texas. The Angels are interesting because I could see them getting in on Oswalt or Haren, but I could also see them being sellers. Bobby Abreu would make an interesting addition to a lot of teams looking for an outfield bat.

So, to wrap up:
Oswalt - staying in Houston, or maybe going to St. Louis
Haren - Atlanta, or maybe the Yankees
Ted Lilly - Philadelphia
Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman - Boston
Jeff Francoeur - San Diego, serving drinks at a Chili's near the ballpark
Mets - Brett Myers and 81 wins.
Yankees - Zack Greinke and/or Joakim Soria
Padres - made a secret deal with the devil
Dodgers/Rockies/Angels/Brewers/Marlins/Mets/Blue Jays/Cubs - thanks for playing, see you next year.

My Big Fat Baseball Preview - AL Central

Continuing with the AL Central...

Chicago White Sox (AKA The Chicago Red Army)
President Obama is a White Sox fan. So, obviously, they're communists. And if you're rooting for this team, you're a communist too. I want to assure everyone that I'm not rooting for the Red Army, I'm just picking them to finish in first. It's not my fault communists are such good pitchers.

Off-season: The interesting thing about this team's off-season is that their two biggest moves for this year didn't happen in the winter, they happened last summer at the deadline. There are two kinds of baseball fans, people who believe in Alex Rios and Jake Peavy, and people who win fantasy leagues. Me? I believe. I think Juan Pierre was a nice addition too. He spent a lot of time sitting around and watching baseball in LA, so I think he's got a year or two of good baseball left in him.

Line-up: I'm not sure what the Sox were thinking when they signed Andruw Jones to be their DH. Andruw's batting averages for the last three years are .222, .158 and .214. That's not a recipe for success, even if the power did come back a little last year. Luckily, I like the rest of this line-up. I see a big year coming for Gordon Beckham. Don't surprised if Alex Rios bounces back too. I know he only hit .199 in 41 games with Chicago last year, but before that he had three straight seasons of hitting at least .290 and he averaged 82 RBI over those same three years in a bad Toronto line-up. Mark Teahan's a solid addition too, he's 28 and this is the best team he's ever been on, he could have a career year. Alexei Ramirez and Carlos Quentin should have better years too, if Quentin can stay healthy. I like this team to score plenty of runs.

Pitching: Like I said, I believe in Jake Peavy. I like John Danks and Gavin Floyd too. Mark Buehrle is a little overrated for me if you're calling him a #1, but I can live with him as a #2 behind Peavy. Bobby Jenks isn't a top-notch closer, but he's workable. Most of his peripherals stayed about the same last year, and his strike-outs actually went up. It was the home run jump from 3 to 9 that really hurt him. That could be a bad sign, but it could also be a fluke. And don't forget about J.J. Putz. He was a dominant closer in '06 and '07, if he can get the Met stink off of himself, he can be a solid 8th inning guy.

Final Thought: This team may be a bat short. I like Chicago's line-up, but they have a lot of "what ifs". Like, what if Carlos Quentin gets hurt again? What if Alex Rios can't get it back? What if Juan Pierre is suddenly done or can't handle playing everyday? The good news? Chicago has some trade-worthy talent in their system and Ken Williams isn't afraid to deal it away.

Prediction: First place, probably a first round playoff loss to whatever AL east team wins the wild card. They'll need someone other than Peavy to step up and be lights out in October to have a chance, and I don't think that happens.

Detroit Tigers
A few years ago, I compared Detroit to the sad little British towns that every Dickens novel seems to take place in. My buddy Dave, who I had been there with, responded by saying "yeah, it was the worst of times, it was the worst of times". I don't know if things have gotten any better there since then (I'm guessing probably not, since I was there in April 2007 and the economy has since, ya know, imploded). I bring this up because I usually root for Detroit teams if they're contending for a title and the team I'm a fan of is out of it. I don't think they'll win the division, but I'd like them to. (especially since they'd be beating Obama's communist baseball army)

Off-season: Christmas came late for Detroit, they didn't pick up Johnny Damon until late February. Sounds like a pretty crappy Christmas too, right? Well, maybe not. I wouldn't expect Johnny to do a whole lot of running, or catching, or throwing. But everything I've seen tells me he can still hit. His 24 home runs last year tied a career high and his 82 RBI were the most for him since 2004. Those numbers will come down a bit leaving Yankee Stadium and that great line-up, but I'm still fairly convinced a healthy Damon can give you .270, 17HR, 75RBI.

Line-up: Having said that about Damon, he won't replace the guy they lost in their biggest off-season move, and I have a lot of concerns about this line-up. I'm not sold on Austin Jackson being ready, and between him and Scott Sizemore, it's hard not to see at least one of them being back in the minors by June. Magglio Ordonez's home run total has gone from 28 to 21 to 9 over the last three seasons, so while he can still hit (.310 last year), from where are they planning to get power? Outside of Miguel Cabrera (3 straight 30+ HR seasons and 6 straight with 100+ RBI), I don't see any scary bats. The Tigers will have their big days when everyone gets two hits, but they'll also have some bad days with plenty of runners left on base.

Pitching: Justin Verlander's last three seasons look like this:
18-6, 3.66 ERA, 183 K's, 67 BB's
11-17, 4.84 ERA, 163 K's, 87 BB's
19-9, 3.45 ERA, 269 K's, 63 BB's
Which one of these things is not like the other? Was 2008 a fluke? Can Verlander have two good years in a row again like he did in '06 and '07? I'm not sure what to expect, but it looks like he's moving in the right direction. The rest of this rotation doesn't impress me, I'm expecting a little bit of a step back from Rick Porcello. And once again, the Tigers have been duped by a closer with lots of saves but so-so peripheral numbers. I don't expect them to be too happy with Jose Valverde. A healthy Joel Zumaya can still be a good 8th inning guy or closer, but finding a healthy Zumaya is like finding a healthy leprechaun.

Final Thought: One of the things I really like about the Tigers is the amount of legit young talent they have. I expect this team to keep getting better over the next few years. So while I don't have them in the playoffs this year, I think we'll see them there soon.

Prediction: Second place and no post-season. They could easily hop over Chicago if their rotation exceeds expectations, but I don't think it will.

Minnesota Twins
The Twins get huge bonus points from me for moving their baseball outdoors where baseball belongs. I think I saw a game at the Metrodome once. My uncle lived in Minnesota for a while, I'm pretty sure we went to a game one of the times we visited him. I was probably about nine years old. Even then, I knew the Metrodome was an abomination. I expect the baseball gods to give the Twins at least five extra wins this year.

Off-season: The Twins aren't usually the most active team in the winter, unless they're unloading players, but Minnesota was actually pretty feisty this year. Orlando Hudson, Jim Thome and J.J. Hardy are all interesting pick-ups for a team that already has the middle of the order all set. I would have preferred a right-handed bat over Thome, maybe Jermaine Dye. Of course, the most important off-season event for the Twins just happened. Joe Mauer just signed an eight year/$184 million contract. As a Yankee fan, all I can say is, oh well.

Line-up: Lots to like here. Mauer and Morneau(196 combined RBI last year in spite of missing 51 combined games) anchor a line-up that's solid all the way around. It's easy to build a good line-up when you've got the 3-4 part squared away. They've got five people for three outfield positions and a DH spot, so the question is, who sits? Looks like it'll be Thome to start, but I wouldn't be surprised if it wound up being Delmon Young most days, his career has been a constant disappointment. Either way, with a good middle and more options than line-up spots, I expect this team to score.

Pitching: I don't like the Twins' pitching. Joe Nathan leaves a giant hole in the bullpen and I'm not counting on Jon Rauch to fill it (Rauch's ERA's for the last three seasons; 3.61, 4.14 and 3.60. That's not a dominant closer, that's barely passable). They say Liriano looks great, but if you don't win championships in April, you certainly don't win them in winter ball, so I'll believe it when I see it against real competition. Plus, anytime you're counting on Carl Pavano to do anything useful, you're just asking for disaster.

Final Thought: If I could have one wish from one baseball team this year, I think I'd ask the Twins for a Michelle Bachmann bobble head day. I don't really think I have to explain the fun symbolism of a little Bachmann doll with a giant empty head.

Prediction: Third place. The Twins always seem to overachieve, so don't be shocked if they find a way to win the division, I just don't know if they have the pitching.

Kansas City Royals
I definitely want to see a game in Kansas City one day. The Royals see anything you can put in your ballpark, and they raise you Kansas City BBQ and cool water fountains. Sadly, it's been about two decades since the Royals put a good team in their ballpark. Oh well, can't have it all I guess.

Off-season: The Royals added Scott Podsednik, Rick Ankiel, Jason Kendall and Josh Fields. Hmmm, umm, it's not that I don't like those four guys, I actually like all of them except for Kendall. But, I'm not sure that's all you needed to fix a last place team. They also get Alex Gordon back, and I do think that makes a difference. This team should be marginally better than last year, but that isn't really saying much.

Line-up: I expect big years from Alex Gordon and Billy Butler. Jose Guillen is still a nice player when he's not doing something crazy, which actually seems to be happening less lately. I like Podsednik and Dejesus too. This is a team with a lot of nice hitters, but unless Butler or Gordon go all Barry Bonds on us, the line-up as a whole just doesn't have enough.

Pitching: I really like the Royals' pitching, especially the starters. Zack Greinke is a stud. I like one of either Luke Hochevar or Kyle Davies to have a surprisingly good year and Gil Meche is serviceable (well, he was serviceable, last year's 5.09 ERA was more terrible than serviceable, but I expect him to bounce back). Joakim Soria is one of the league's best closers (you never know when the Royals will finally trade him, but he's still there for now). Kansas City's pitching should keep them in a lot of games, good teams will have to earn the wins against them.

Final Thought: The Royals are always one of those interesting trade deadline teams. Will Joakim Soria go somewhere? Could Jose Guillen or Rick Ankiel help a contender? Unfortunately, this is probably the most exciting part of the season for Royals fans.

Prediction: Fourth place. I think Kansas City's pitching makes them better than Cleveland, but that's about it.

Cleveland Indians
It's entirely possible the Indians won't even get to finish this season. If Lebron signs with another team this summer, sports fans in Cleveland might just set the city on fire and abandon it. Would you blame them? Me neither.

Off-season: As far as I can tell, the Indians slept through most of the winter, then woke up late and signed Russell Branyan. I know it's not a big market, but this was an awful team last year with a few gaping holes. This winter would have been a good time to do something, ya know?

Line-up: I'm starting to think Grady Sizemore reminds me a lot of Carlos Beltran, the kind of guy who's good at everything but isn't great at anything. You love having guys like that on your team, but it doesn't work out so well when that guy is your best player. The rest of this line-up has too many young guys who may or may not be ready to give them anything. Lots of upside here, especially if Michael Brantley gets into the everyday line-up, but you probably won't see most of that upside for a year or two.

Pitching: Speaking of upside, I don't see a lot of it with Cleveland's pitching. There's not one guy on this entire staff that I'd say I like. Kerry Wood's already hurt and every Indians fan died a little last year when Sabathia and Lee faced off in the world series. Lots of souvenirs in Cleveland this year.

Final Thought: Major League is still the best baseball movie ever, and you Bull Durham people can't tell me any different.

Prediction: Last place, this could get ugly. This team would need big seasons from a number of unproven young guys to get anywhere near the post-season. And even then, they still don't have any pitching.