Ideas for New American Mottos

Sometimes I don't write anything for a while because I'm lazy or I've grown bored with my own sense of humor.  Other times, I don't write anything for a while because I'm stuck without power for a week while my utility company (Western Massachusetts Electric, aka FUCKYOU...err...I mean WMECO) is exploring new depths of incompetence.  I'll let you guess which one of those things is happening now.

By the way, "you" in that last sentence will probably refer to absolutely nobody since I'll be posting this around midnight on a Friday and I doubt anyone will ever read it.  I'm camping out somewhere temporary while I continue to wait for my actual apartment to have power, so I figured why not do this for a little while.

One of the few news items I've been able to pick up this week from the internet and Twitter is Congress finding some time in their busy schedule of not doing anything to re-affirm "In God We Trust" as our official motto.  I could go on and on about all the reasons why this is stupid, but in the interest of time, how about just one?  We've been trusting god for quite a while now, how's that been working out for us lately?  Maybe it's time to trust someone else for a while.  People seem to like this Tim Tebow fellow.

As always, I'm all about problem solving.  You can't just call our current motto stupid and not offer ideas for a better motto. I've got all kinds of ideas:

"In Tebow We Trust"
"First in Religion, 38th in Math"
"Home of the Filibuster"
"Made in China"
"Can We Interest You in An Abandoned Factory?"
"You Know All That Rubble in Your Country? Your Welcome"
"We Can Put Ranch Dressing on Anything"
"Canada's Beard"
"Mexico's Sombrero"
"Fuck Soccer"
"The World Leader in Foul-mouthed Cartoons"
"We Invented David Hasselhoff"
"We Can Has Gunz!"
"More Likely to Believe in Ghosts Than Evolution"
"If You Can Fry It, We Can Eat It"
"The World's Leading Exporter of Explosions"
"Where Christmas Starts on Halloween and Ends on St. Patrick's Day"
"Jesus Works For Us"
"Is George W. Who Home? I'm sorry, I Think You Have a Wrong Number"

I think that's all I've got.  I sure hope I have power by the time the next Republican debate happens.