MLB First Impressions - National League

...and now for the National League...

Washington Nationals
I'm not as crazy about Bryce Harper as I think some people want me to be, but the TV did remind me that he's a year younger than Mike Trout, so I guess we'll see.  Meanwhile, Washington added Dan Haren and Rafael Soriano, and Stephen Strasburg should be mostly free of innings limits this season.  Washington looks really really good.  Easy division winner.  Can we force them to move back to Montreal at this point?

Atlanta Braves
I've always said double the Upton equals double the awesome.  Why wouldn't you want both Upton brothers on your team?  Some things worry me about the Braves.  Tim Hudson is 37 and can't do this forever.  Kris Medlen has to regress a little bit, right?  The left side of the infield has a real "who the fuck are those guys?" vibe going.  Still, having an excellent bullpen and cornering the market on Uptons should be plenty to land Atlanta a wild card spot.

Philadelphia Phillies
Can we just fire Charlie Manuel now and get it over with?  On paper, this team still looks like it should be good, except that it isn't.  I've never trusted Cliff Lee, and I never will.  And now I'm hearing Roy Halladay and "decreased velocity" in the same sentence an awful lot.  And did you know Chase Utley is 34?  I didn't know that.  Yikes.  I love Cole Hamels, the rest of this is a disaster waiting to happen.

Miami and The Mets
Speaking of yikes.  Neither one of these teams has any redeeming quality that would allow me to choose one over the other.  If I have to pick one, I'll pick the Mets to finish just ahead of Miami, if only because the Mets are used to being depressing by now while the Marlins are still sort of reeling from the embarrassment that was last season.  The Mets also have David Wright, which I suppose is marginally better than not having David Wright. 

Cincinnati Reds
I looked at Cincinnati's depth chart and thought "Ryan Ludwick?  Still?".  But then I actually looked at his numbers from last year and they aren't half bad.  More importantly, I love everything about the Reds' pitching and they picked up the Choo Choo train.  All aboard for a division title!

St. Louis Cardinals
Word is Chris Carpenter is most likely done.  That's sad.  As for the rest of the Cardinals, there's so much about this roster that makes me nervous.  Jason Motte seems like one of those "hey, remember that brief period of time when that guy was good?" guys.  Beltran and Holliday are both guys who are older than you think they are, but also seem older than they actually are, if that makes sense.  I don't like what I'm seeing here.  Still second place though, because this division is terrible, even without Houston.

Pittsburgh Pirates
The Pirates are a lot like the Royals only, unlike the Royals, they haven't yet bothered to go out and get some actual pitching.  Also, I don't know if the Pirates know this, but Russell Martin hit .211 last year.  Who signs that guy to be a starting catcher?  I'm sorry, I can't take the Pirates seriously until they start taking themselves seriously.

Milwaukee Brewers
Ryan Braun is pretty good, so there's that.  I'm just so underwhelmed by the rest of this roster.  I thought we had all given up on Carlos Gomez.  Maybe I'll like them better when they get Corey Hart back.  Probably not though.  When does training camp start for the Packers?

Chicago Cubs
Talk about bottoming out.  Is Carlos Marmol still seriously the Cubs' closer?  They had all off-season to think about this and nobody had a better idea?  He's not even young anymore, he's 30.  And I don't even want to speculate about how old Alfonso Soriano is.  Theo Epstein better know what he's doing.  When people in Chicago get angry, shit goes down.

Arizona Diamondbacks
OK, usually when I think Arizona is going to the playoffs they wind up finishing last, so I apologize to D'Backs fans in advance, but I think Arizona wins the west.  Solid pitching, solid offense, solid everything.  Guys like Martin Prado and Cody Ross are really nice pick-ups.  They're the kind of guys you see filling roles on winning teams.  Also, remember the name Adam Eaton.

San Francisco Giants
Yes, Tim Lincecum is zeroing in on being finished, but the Giants still have Matt Cain and Madison Bumgarner, and the surprisingly adequate Barry Zito.  I really like this team, no great hitters, but lots of perfectly solid bats.  I think this is actually the best team in the division, but they'll be hurt by some early season Lincecum train wrecks before they figure out he's finished and I think they wind up settling for a wild card.

Los Angeles Dodgers
Hey, remember when everyone said you didn't want to sign Carl Crawford to a long term contact because he'll eventually lose a couple of steps and suddenly be very mediocre at best.  Well that's happening now, enjoy Dodgers fans.  The Dodgers have the potential to be legitimately not awful, but too many question marks for me.

Colorado Rockies
Carlos Gonzalez and Troy Tulowitzki have to be enough to make this team better than San Diego, right?  Right?  I heard the Rockies signed Jon Garland.  That's not a bad move, as long as this is 2005.  Is this 2005?

San Diego Padres
Add San Diego to the long list of teams that decided to try to turn a potentially excellent closer into a starter.  Too bad Andrew Cashner, you would have made a solid closer, instead you just go on the pile with Daniel Bard and Joba Chamberlain.  The Padres are a mess.  Can we relegate them and call up a triple A team?

National League MVP: Maybe if I keep picking Justin Upton I'll actually be right one year.
National League Cy Young: Cole Hamels!  Cole Hamels!
National League Champs:  This is tough.  Look, I'm going to have to pick Washington, but I don't have to like it.  I think the Nats lose to Tampa in the World Series.  There you go.

It's Baseball Time Again! - NL Central

What's going on in the NL Central?  These teams all look terrible.  This stupid internet says the Cardinals won the World Series last year, but that can't be right.  I tried the internet at work, just to be sure, and all the internets agree, the defending champs live in St. Louis.  That'll teach me to stop paying attention once the Yankees lose.

St. Louis Cardinals

Bad News:  Bad news goes first for St. Louis.  Remember when the Cardinals had the best hitter in baseball for ten years?  Well, not anymore.  And remember last year when Pujols struggled a little, but Lance Berkman picked up most of the slack.  Well, Lance is 36 and there is NO WAY he hits .300 again.  But don't worry fans, they've replaced Pujols with Carlos Beltran, and Mets fans know Carlos can carry any team to a championship.  Wait, are you saying Mets fans don't know that?

Good News: Adam Wainwright is back.  Wainwright appears to be good to go for opening day.  And with St. Louis not scoring any runs, they're going to need him.  Also, the Cards added serviceable veteran lefty J.C. Romero to what already was a pretty solid bullpen. 

Anything else we need to know?: Shelby Miller is still only 21 years old, but I feel like he's been St. Louis' top prospect since I was playing little league.  Doesn't sound like we'll be seeing him this year either, but you never know with Kyle Lohse and Jake Westbrook at the bottom of the rotation. 

Prediction: Lots of 2-1 games.  But when you're playing lots of 2-1 games against this division, you're winning most of them and winning the division.  No repeat though.

Cincinnati Reds

Good News: The Reds dealt 28 year old, often injured Edinson Volquez for 24-year-old future stud Mat Latos.  Add that to Homer Bailey, who should start breaking out this year, and Ryan Madson, who is not demonstrably worse than Jonathan Papelbon and never should have been allowed to leave Philly, and the Reds can really pitch.  Also, Scott Rolen can tell all the young kids stories about his rookie season with the world champion 1976 Reds. 

Bad News: I'm not convinced the Reds can hit.  After hitting .281 in 2010 (promising improvement), Jay Bruce regressed to .256 in 2011.  The power keeps coming, but the average keeps disappointing.  Brandon Phillips is 30 now and probably is what he is (and probably isn't hitting .300 again).  Drew Stubbs is another guy who can't hit for average.  Joey Votto is a stud, the rest of this line-up has holes.  Lots of solo home runs in Cincy this season.

Anything else we need to know?: Chris Heisey hit 18 home runs in 279 at-bats last year, which translates to damn near 40 if he plays a full season.  Unfortunately, the Reds signed Ryan Ludwick for some reason.  I guess anytime you can sign a guy who is 33 years old, hit .237 last year and wasn't ever that good to begin with to clog up an outfield spot a younger guy with potential could be filling, you have to do it.

Prediction: With an extra wild card and plenty of games against Pittsburgh, Houston and the Cubs, as much as I hate this division, I think they get two playoff teams.  I hope the Reds enjoy being crushed by whoever they get in the first round of the playoffs.

Milwaukee Brewers

Good News: Ryan Braun doesn't have to miss 50 games.  Bully for Brewers fans.  Hey listen, if you're going to have an appeal process, then everybody has to live with the results.  Ryan Braun's appeal was granted, so he's not a cheater.  I guess that's easy for me to say, since I really don't give a crap about performance enhancers.  I like enhanced performances.

Bad News: While Ryan Braun can play all 162 games for the Brewers this season, Prince Fielder will be playing 0 games for the Brewers, because he doesn't play there anymore.  Corey Hart may not be ready for opening day and no, Aramis Ramirez does not count as a replacement for Fielder. 

Anything else we need to know?: Zack Greinke struck out 201 batters in 171.2 innings last season, and at 28 years old, he should be ready for a huge season.  Also, we should finally see Matt Gamel get serious playing time at first base.  Word is he can hit, but he can't catch.  Guess what?  Prince Fielder can't catch either.

Prediction: The Brewers can contend for a wild card, but I don't think they get one.  Braun can't carry this offense by himself all year.

Chicago Cubs

Good News: Theo Epstein showed up in Chicago this winter and will, I assume, make the Cubs better...someday.  It takes a few years to clean up a mess like this.  Pencil the Cubs in for the post-season around 2016.

Bad News: Is it bad news that picking the Cubs to finish 4th feels like wishful thinking?  Is is bad news that the Cubs don't seem to be able to give away Alfonso Soriano?  Is it bad news that the Cubs entire rotation is made up of cast-offs from other organizations?  All of those things are probably bad news, but if you want the really bad news about the Cubs, just take a minute to look at their roster.  It ain't pretty.

Anything else we need to know?: Starlin Castro is still a few years from his prime, Cubs fans can only hope they'll put a team around him by the time he gets there.

Predictions: Fourth place, if the Cubs are lucky.  What?  Are you saying the Cubs have some kind of well-documented, century-long history of terrible luck?  Hmmmm.  Alright, put it this way.  If the Cubs finish any better than 4th this season, I declare the curse officially over.  Baby steps.

Pittsburgh Pirates/Houston Astros

Ugh...picking between the Pirates and the Astros is like deciding if you want to die by drowning or by being shot in the face.  One of them may sound more pleasant at first, but they both suck and you end up dead either way.

Good News: These two teams play each other a bunch of times so somebody has to win those games, right?  Seriously, looking at these two rosters, the only positive I could come up with is for the Pirates.  They have a few talented young guys (Alvarez, McCutchen, Tabata).  Maybe one of them will even be good enough to get traded to the Yankees mid-season for two crappy prospects.

Bad News: AJ Burnett already successfully executed his plan of bunting stuff into his own face until he hit something and got out of starting the season with the Pirates.  When I looked at the Astros roster, I wondered for a minute if Houston was filling out their roster with fake names, the way video games sometimes do.  At least Pittsburgh should be fun to watch, Houston just looks like a mess.

Predictions: Very bad things, son.  Pittsburgh should probably be a little better than Houston.  A little.