Game 6

Since I picked the Yankees in six, and since I have a feeling they'll get it done tonight, I thought I'd document the occasion for posterity. (and yes, I know I'm, um, borrowing the idea of running commentary on a live sporting event from probably many other people, most notably Bill Simmons, of whom I'm a big fan. But since I don't get paid for this or anything, I feel I can steal whatever ideas I want, so there). Also, I realize that I usually do sports on Fridays, but I haven't been to work yet this week, so I have very little feel for what day it is.

I could give you the highlights of the pre-game show, but I refuse to awknowledge Fox's pre-game show unless it's to say how terrible it is, so how about a few thoughts on yesterday's elections while we wait for baseball to start.

1. Chris Christie actually sounded kind of interesting in his acceptance speech, maybe New Jersey has something there. Once he gets into office, if he comes up with at least one new idea that isn't actually just a tax cut, I'll stop calling him Governor Fatpants.
2. Listen up Maine! I need California, they make TV shows, I don't need you, I've never eaten a lobster in my life, and I don't plan to. Get it together.
3. Kudos to everyone in my old hometown, NYC. You let Mike Bloomberg completely disregard his term limit and then buy an election. He now officially owns you, well done. (and kudos to the NYC democratic party for offering a candidate that couldn't beat a guy who's about two steps away from declaring himself king and renaming the city Bloombergistan).

Between the pre-game show and the actual game, we get the little pre-game chat with our announcers, Tim McCarver and Joe Buck. Let me just say two things. First, one day, there will be a McCarverless world series, and I will rejoice. Second, they mostly talked about Andy Pettitte pitching on three days rest. Can I have a job where it's a big controversy when I only get three days off between work days? And yes, I realize on two of those three days, Andy had to come to work and watch his co-workers work, I'm willing to do that too.

Play Ball! (apparently brought to us by Budweiser)

1st Inning
The Home Depot tool to victory for the Phillies, courtesy of McCarver, "they have to win." Excellent point.
Pettitte just made his first throw to first base, get ready for about 96 of those tonight.

Utley just grouned into a double play. I wanted Pettitte to hit him with a fastball, I guess Andy's plan was better. By the way, if the Phillies win this series, I say they melt down the Liberty Bell and the Rocky statue and build a giant Utley statue.

I'm a huge Pedro fan, he's the best pitcher I've ever seen, but I wouldn't be super confident about him here. The Yankees saw his stuff last week, and it ain't what it used to be. This opinion just got supported by John Ruiz visiting the mound after one pitch followed by Jeter hammering one right at the left fielder.

Buck says Damon could be the MVP if the Yankees win. Did he get drunk before the game? Also, Damon's at-bats only ever have two results, broken bat and strike out. Honestly, do they make his bats out of ice?

My favorite commercial between these innings? The Sprint 3G commercial featuring flava flav. "Buy our cell phone, this former rapper turned criminally insane reality star likes it." That may not be a direct quote.

2nd Inning
Werth hit two out against Pettitte in game 3, so you probably want to be careful with him here. The Yankees concur and put him on first, Pettitte looks sharp though, hit the corner a couple of times and ball four was right where it should have been, just off the outside. I'm pretty encouraged. Also, look at Werth's hair, he looks like he should be in a Ratt video.

People say Yankee fans are too hard on Posada's defense. Listen, I watch almost every Yankee game, they'd be better off just building a brick wall behind home plate. It would throw out the same number of runners as Jorge, but nothing would get by it.

That's funny, something is really making me want a Budweiser, I don't even like Budweiser, weird.

Pedro wants no part of A-rod, four pitch walk. I don't blame him, Pedro doesn't have his A game, Alex isn't the guy you want to go after with an 84 MPH fastball.

Bang! After a painfully long at bat, Matsui just pounded one into the second deck in right field. 2-0 Yankees. Matsui came back to the dugout making what I'd call the "that's right ladies, they call me Godzilla" face. The home run prompted the crowd to start the "who's your daddy" chant. You can do better than that Yankee fans, it's the world series! Shortly after, Posada struck out on a scorching 23 MPH fastball (I may be a little off on that). I really don't like Posada.

The commercials I'm seeing so far lead me to believe that Fox doesn't think anyone under 50 is watching. On the other hand, if you're having trouble urinating, hope is on the way!

3rd Inning
Pettitte is all over the outside corner right now. And about ten seconds after I typed that, he missed the corner by about a foot and John Ruiz crushed one off the left field wall for a triple. This led to a sac fly from Rollins, 2-1 Yankees. I might have pitched around Rollins and pitched to the guy with the broken hand, but that's just me.

Gardner just struck out, that was predictable. When I was in little league, the coaches sometimes took us to the batting cages to work on hitting. I guess what I'm saying is, can someone point Girardi and Gardner to some batting cages?

A walk to Damon gets some activity stirring in the Phillies pen, probably Happ (Yup). Pedro responds by hitting Teixiera. If Alex hits one out here, they may have to stop the game for a few minutes while the fans in the stadium riot. Alex goes down looking, that pitch may have been off the corner a little, but you don't take it with two strikes.

I'm a fan of Matsui's work tonight, 4-1 Yankees. That might have been a close play at the plate if the Phillies had thought it was even remotely possible to get Damon. When a player gets old, sometimes you say he's lost a step, Damon's lost about 12 steps. Also, I think Posada means rally killer in Spanish.

4th Inning
Damon's night is done, he pulled a calf muscle. (you mean his legs were working properly before? yikes) You might think I'd remove my previous comment about Damon losing 12 steps, but I've been thinking that for about 6 months, and he only pulled his calf about 6 minutes ago, so it stays.

Back-to-back walks to Werth and Ibanez. Next up is Ruiz, Pettitte just put five pitches in the same spot for three balls and two strikes. I'm wondering if we can get baseball umpires access to some kind of book or manual that describes the rules of baseball. "The strike zone doesn't move" would be chapter 4.

Fox has been advertising tomorrow night's TV line-up all night. Do they know something we don't know?

Giuliani's in the house. I still think he would have made a pretty good President, too bad he made an awful, awful candidate. If he could just find a way to be appointed President without having to campaign or anything, I think he'd do a solid job.

Gardner's up again, the home audience can get a head start on their between-inning bathroom breaks if they want.

5th Inning
Pettitte just walked Ruiz, not a good sign. That was followed by one of my favorite moments in TV sports, when the sports announcer reads a promo for whatever crappy show the network is pushing, always hilarious, I think I like it the most when the NASCAR announcers read a promo for one of ABC's barely coherent shows.

Double play ball from Rollins. The Phillies only have, at most, six outs before they have to deal with Rivera, heart of the order up next inning, it's go time.

The Phillies have gone with Chad Durbin for the 5th inning, let's just say the Yankee hitters don't look terrified. Jeter starts things off with a ground rule double, followed by a Hairston bunt(I wasn't a fan of this idea, but he got it down, so whatever).

Perfect spot here for a struggling Teixiera, all he needs is a fly ball. This can usually help a guy focus and get a good swing, and there it is, 5-1 Yankees on a line drive single. A-Rod gets hit by a 3-2 pitch and Charlie Manuel has seen enough of Chad Durbin, I think we all have.

Six RBI's tonight for Matsui, 7-1 Yankees. Good thing they don't riot for sporting events in Japan like we do here, because if they did they might set the whole country on fire if Matsui wins the MVP. Also, it may be time for Philadelphia sports fans to start talking themselves into the Eagles.

Of course, Posada struck out, but luckily, he's not able to actually take runs back off the board, so he's done all the damage he can. And Cano goes down too, I think those two may need to sit quietly for a minute.

6th Inning
Buck's been talking for about 5 minutes straight, is McCarver napping?

Joba's up in the Yankee pen, a truly terrifying sight for Yankee fans. Howard just took Pettitte deep, opposite field too, that dude is strong. 7-3 Yankees, and here comes Girardi. Surprise move, he left Pettitte in, not sure that was wise, we'll see.

Well, Pettitte got Werth but Ibanez drilled one into right. Pettitte's done. Really solid work by Pettitte, good ovation from the crowd. Giradi's bringing Joba in to face Feliz, which makes perfect sense because last time Joba faced Feliz, Feliz hit one that hasn't landed yet, so...wait, this doesn't make any sense, but it worked anyway, that's baseball for ya. Three outs to Rivera.

This week's NFL coverage on Fox will be highlighted by the Cardinals visiting the Bears. In other words, not a great week of games in the NFL.

After Gardner stared at strike three right over the plate, Manuel decided it was time to bring Chan Ho Park into the game. Much like with Chad Durbin, I don't see the Yankee hitters being especially nervous about this. Did the Phillies leave their real bullpen at home or something?

Apparently today's box score is brough to us by a movie called "The Box". I wonder which came first, the movie or the endorsement opportunity.

Well, Park got Jeter and Hairston, so there you go.

7th Inning
Joba mowed down Francisco, but Ruiz hit one hard into center. Ground ball from Rollins. You have to get Victorino out here, he definitely has at least one broken bone somewhere in his hand. Joba proceeds to walk him on four pitches, and he's done. Here comes Damaso Marte to face Utley, and I'm about a -2 out of 10 on the confidence scale. Buck points out that Marte only gave up one home run to a lefty this year. Good point Joe, except that Marte spent most of the year hurt or sucking, so he didn't get a lot of chances. However, at the moment, he's neither hurt nor sucking, he just put Utley away. Six outs left for the Phillies, and if Rivera doesn't start the 8th, you'd better believe he'll be coming in as soon as we see someone on base.

Something was just brought to us by DJ Hero, but I'm not sure what. By the way, I love that idea, a game that let's you pretend to have the talent to do something that requires no actual talent.

They walked Posada intentionally to get to Cano after Matsui struck out, which I guess makes sense, but not really. Why not just take the out from Posada to end this inning, then you could get Cano out to start the next inning. I guess the Phillies think Posada might get a hit, have they been watching the same game I have? I don't even have to tell you what happened next, but you can probably guess that Cano didn't hit a three run home run.

8th Inning
Marte is starting the 8th. A lot of Yankee fans are probably a little nervous about this, but I actually don't hate this move. It's a four run game, the more outs other guys can get, the harder Mariano can go. I probably would have let Marte face Werth and Ibanez, but I'm not Girardi, so here comes Rivera. Kudos to Fox for showing us at least part of Mariano's run into the stadium.

Werth down swinging, four outs left. Rivera just destroyed Ibanez's bat, foul ball though. Tough at bat for Ibanez, broken bat, a couple of jammed pop-ups and that last one looked like he fouled it off his face, but he finished by hitting one hard to center. What was Gardner doing that far in? Does he have a train to catch as soon as the inning's over? Pop-up for the third out, no harm, no foul. Hey, how many runs would the Yankees have to score in the bottom of the 8th for Girardi to put someone else in to pitch the 9th? 16? 60? 6 billion?

Lots of commercials tonight for crappy-looking movies. The only movie coming out soon worth seeing is The Men Who Stare at Goats. That movie can't miss, just the fact that it's based on a true story should be enough to have you laughing pretty much the whole time.

Either McCarver's been pretty quiet tonight or I've learned to block him out. Swisher just got thrown out on a ridiculously slow ground ball. Did he stop to make a phone call on the way to first? Did he get lost?

I honestly don't care what the Yankees do in this inning, they have all the runs they should need.

Fox's commercials for Bones are intolerable. You couldn't pay me to watch that show just because of how much I hate the commercials.

9th Inning
Matt Stairs just hit one that almost left the stadium, but it went foul. Next pitch lined right at Jeter, two outs left. Having Rivera on your team is the best thing is sports. It's unbelievable how sure I am that this game is over.

Rollins just got the nervous gasp out of the stadium crowd on his way to the second out on a long fly ball to right, one more.

Quick shot of Charlie Manuel working on his "hey, we won last year, so shut up" face.

Victorino grounds out to Cano, cue Sinatra, we're done here. Wait, they're not playing Sinatra? OK, whatever.

If I had an MVP vote, I'd probably say Jeter, nothing flashy, but lots of hits in the series. I could see Mariano too, he's so automatic, you don't notice how valuable he is. I know Matsui looks good after tonight, but he didn't even start half the games.

I think, if we learned anything tonight, it's that I picked the Yankees in 6 a month ago, and I'm awesome.