Advice for College Students

I saw a New York Times article recently which advertised advice for new college students.  I work at a University, so I decided to take a look.  First of all, the tweet suggested that I was about to read 25 tips for college students, but it was really seven tips that had a few different sub-tips.  Nice click bait New York Times!  You used to have prestige.  Secondly, the advice was from recent college graduates, and it was terrible.  Not all of it, but way too much of it. 

I decided I could do better.  Then I got distracted for a little while by work and TV and stuff.  But then I wrote this.  I'm not trying to be too tough on the recent college grads the Times coerced into doing this, they don't know any better.  As always, I'm just trying to provide a public service.  I should also mention, in the event that someone I don't already know reads this, that this does not reflect the views of the school I work at, or any school I've ever worked at, or any other human being.

1) Extend Yourself
        - Be willing to learn as you go
        - Challenge yourself to do something new

This first section is a little hit or miss.  The article specifically cites laundry doing as a skill you should be willing to learn as you go.  That's a bad idea.  It only takes one week of not doing laundry to make you the smelly kid in you dorm.  Don't be that guy.  There are plenty of skills that you'll do just fine picking up as you go through your first year, but hygiene related skills like washing clothes and showering every day should be ready on day one. 

Challenging yourself to do something new is a good idea, but keep in mind that going to college is already something new and scary so maybe give yourself a break.  You'll have plenty of chances to do something new in your four years at college, you don't have to go looking for something all the time.

2) Do the Work!
        - Go to class unless you're half dead.
        - Outline your papers and footnote everything.
        - Get tutoring if you need it.

The first bullet is terrible advice.  Look, I'm not saying don't go to class, but there are plenty of perfectly valid reasons to miss class.  I took Spanish 1 at 8AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays my first semester.  I had taken Spanish every year from 7th grade through 12th grade, and since my elementary and high schools didn't care a lot about me actually learning a language, I basically took Spanish 1 six times.  I didn't feel like I needed to wake up for Spanish class, and I mostly didn't.  I still got an A in Spanish 1 because I'm not a moron and the professor wasn't mean. 

The other two things are fine, I guess.  Outlining your papers is a fine idea if you're into that kind of thing.  I'm not.  I don't really understand the value of footnotes.  Some professors are going to ask you to use footnotes anyway.  Why add superfluous footnotes to your life?

3) Understand the System and Work It
        - Expect the Administration not to care about you.  Professors, on the other hand, can be your greatest allies.
        - Develop relationships with department secretaries.
        - Credit cards with high interest rates are scams.
        - Take advantage of internship opportunities during the school year.

This whole section is a mess.  Some administrators will care about you, and some faculty will too, and some other people won't.  People are just people, and some of them are good people and some of them are bad people.  It doesn't matter what they do for a living.  Also keep in mind that faculty, even though they work at a college, are still lazy teachers who don't work summers.  So, if you need a reference in June, good luck with faculty.

High interest credit cards are scams?  Thanks Captain Obvious.  This seems to be the only vague mention of money or debt in the whole article, and we'll get back to that, but yes, don't sign up for the first credit card you see.  On the other hand, you're a freshman in college and you don't have any money, so you may need to get some kind of credit card so you don't starve.  Just be smart about it.

I've known plenty of students who did internships during the school year.  You know what they didn't do?  Sleep and/or have any fun.  I'm not saying don't ever do an internship, but pace yourself a little.  You have your whole life to go to work everyday and never sleep or have fun.

4) Be Yourself
        - Don't compare yourself to other students.
        - Don't be sad if you're a first generation student and you don't feel like you fit in.
        - Shed your inhibitions and prior concepts of who people can be.

I don't have any major quarrels with this section.  Being yourself is a solid idea, and so is letting other people be themselves.  You're 18, so you probably have no idea who yourself is yet, but that's OK as long as you're trying.

5) Tend To Yourself
        - College is like being high, don't lose track of who you are and where you want to go.
        - Sometimes a mental health day is in order.
        - There's a bunch of other stuff in this section about taking naps and showers.

Now this is what I call advice!  Take mental health days.  Lots of them.  You know what you never get to do when you get a real job?  Take a day off because you're just sort of not feeling up to going outside.  College students, if they're doing it right, are more in charge of their own time then anyone else in the world except retired people.  Take advantage of that.

Also, naps are good but they're a slippery slope.  If you get into the habit of napping you will eventually lay down for a 20 minute nap and wake up 6 hours later.  That's just the way it goes.  Try not to miss anything too important.

6) Develop People Skills
        - No one cares about your high school accomplishments.
        - Freshmen quickly form close groups that disastrously fall apart, try not to do that.
        - Don't hook up with the boy across the hall on your first night of college.
        - Think about where you want to set your boundaries sexually.

Saying no one cares about your high school accomplishments is a little harsh.  High school things shouldn't go on your resume or anything, but if you make good friends who care about you, I'm sure they'll want to hear what you were like in high school.  I always ask students that question.  The answers are usually interesting.

Yes, your freshman year friend group will absolutely fall apart disastrously.  That's a true story.  That doesn't mean you won't have fun with them first.  Just don't lend them large amounts of money or give them a kidney or anything. 

Hooking up with the person across the hall on the first night is kind of a mixed bag.  It's probably OK on a big campus.  At big schools you can meet someone once and never again, especially if you're trying for never again.  But at small schools?  Yeah, you'll never be able to avoid anyone, especially if they're the same year as you. 

7) Don't Get Stuck
        - Do what you love and you'll be good at what you do.
        - Take your time.
        - If you're not having an exciting college experience, change something.

This whole section was mostly OK. The main thing is, don't be afraid to change your major.  Your parents probably read something online about how a certain major always gets you a job and money, and now they're making you choose that major.  You're a grown-up now and you don't have to listen to those people anymore.  Major in something you like.  Or if you can't find something you like, at least major in something easy that won't bother you too much (that's how I found Psychology).  There's always jobs to get if you're willing to work hard at something.

This whole article said almost nothing about money, so listen.  You're going to run up a lot of debt in college, and that's OK.  Just don't be too stupid about it.  Sometimes you can spend money on silly things.  I bought like 12 European soccer jerseys my senior year.  I think I still have one of them.  That was OK though, it was fun while I was doing it.  However, I also put a $1200 stereo system in my car senior year.  I got rid of that car over that summer.  I knew I was going to have to get rid of the car soon, because it was old and I took terrible care of it, but I got the stereo system anyway.  That was stupid and I should have known better.  You don't have to be super smart, just a little smart.

Oh also.  Guess who doesn't care about your GPA?  Everyone in the world.  You'll know pretty early on if you want to go to law school or something, and then you should know about GPA requirements for law schools, but for the most part you'll be fine.  That one B- in statistics isn't going to haunt you forever.  I got a Bsomething in statistics because I took it during a semester when I randomly stopped going to class for like three weeks because I didn't really feel like it.  When I interviewed for grad school they asked me about it and I just gave them some story about still learning lots of good stuff or whatever.  Worked out fine for me.

This article also never mentioned alcohol, which is strange because people will mention it all the time once you get to campus.  I can't really give advice about drinking except to say that if you find yourself vomiting or involuntarily falling down, you probably aren't doing it right.  Anyway, college is fun and you should have fun.  Don't hurt anybody and don't hurt yourself too much and you'll be fine.