A Christmas Quorum

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the House...and Senate
not a creature was stirring
not even a mouse...or Senator Bob Bennett

The stockings were hung
in the cloakrooms with care
in the hopes that campaign contributions
would soon be in there

The lame duck Congress worked hard
in their own special way
sometimes they voted
on more than one thing a day!

It was jarring, alarming
amazing, stupendous
so what if some of the things
they passed were horrendous

First came a deal
on the Bush tax cuts
did they make the hard choices?
No, silly, that would be nuts

Instead they just gave everyone
whatever they wanted
tax cuts for all
and spending undaunted

And earmarks as far
as the eye could see
project after special project
pinned to the Christmas tree

The DREAM act died
on the Senate floor
Republicans say it was amnesty
sneaking in the back door

I don't care much either way
so I'm not going to panic
but Republicans; good luck winning elections
with zero votes from Hispanics

Democrats fought against
don't ask don't tell
while Republicans fretted
about unit cohesion going to hell

But you can't ask people to fight
for our country indivisible
while simultaneously asking them
to remain invisible

So finally they repealed
that bigoted piece of crap
and then...the gay army took over the world!
oh no! it was a trap!

The 9/11 first responders bill
can't get votes from 60 men
suddenly we're all worried
about deficits again

For a fraction of the cost
of tax cuts for the wealthy
we could help keep real heroes
alive and healthy

Where is the outrage and shouting
that usually abounds?
even John Q. nine-elevington himself,
Mayor Daffy Giuliani, is nowhere to be found

If that bill doesn't pass
by the end of this week
I wish everyone who blocks it
a horrible, slow, coughing death
(they don't all have to rhyme people. My blog, my rules)

Televangelist Beck railed
against the food safety act
clearly it was some kind of
big government attack

On our personal liberties
but Glenn brought the heat
defending our holy right
to eat tainted meat

The START treaty sits
unratified and useless
apparently we're still afraid of the Russians
and I have to admit to feeling a little clueless

Didn't conservative hero Reagan
single-handedly win the cold war?
isn't that why we forgive him
for being a big corporate whore?

As I write this it looks like
START will pass soon
don't worry about Russia
they couldn't even beat us to the moon

I'm not used to the federal government
doing so much so quickly
this Congress spent its first 22 months
abdicating responsibility so slickly

Frankly, I'm impressed
with the savvy of the President
some tough words for his own party
and now he's everyone's favorite D.C. resident

But success in politics is fickle
and this could all go awry
as Republicans remind their base
that he's still a black guy

For now, with everyone bitching
on the left and on the right
I hope the President understands
he must be doing something right