What Can Brown Do For You?

Well, it's all over. Goodbye health care, goodbye socialism, hello Scott Brown. Oh, the poor Democrats, how will they ever get anything done when they only control 59% of the Senate and roughly just over 59% of the House? Why not just give up right now? You might say, "hey Sean, I seem to remember Republicans doing pretty much whatever the hell they wanted with quite a bit fewer votes, and I seem to remember it happening not that long ago." Nice try, but they had the Republican voodoo magic on their side (and by that, of course, I mean that you can say whatever you want about Republican policies, but, right now, they're like a billion times better at politics than the Democrats).

I watched Scott Brown's victory speech in Massachusetts and I learned a few things about our newest Senator:
1) I can see why people voted for this guy, he's super likable. I don't know a lot about where he stands on issues, though I can probably guess, but he knows how to relate to a crowd. Take away the rookie speech mistakes (like driving home the talking points a little too hard so they sound like they don't belong, like they're fake additions to his otherwise real speech, which he'll learn to stop doing) and he's really got something.
2) He has good political instincts. He spent a few minutes praising and thanking Ted Kennedy and his wife, it looked genuinely classy. Was it all fake? Maybe, but he did it and in today's politics, that's really all we expect. It's been a long time since we cared if anyone meant anything they said.
3) Scott Brown's daughter is pretty hot. You heard me.
4) Scott Brown wants to be the President.

(Before I continue, I should say that I am in no way suggesting Scott Brown would make a good President, or even that he'll definitely ever run. I'm just saying he wants to.)

How do I know that last part? First, he talked a lot about being the "independent" candidate and how the independent voice of Massachusetts elected him. We'll see if he actually votes independently when he gets to Washington (I'm predicting no, not even a little), but that's campaign talk that means "if you've had it with both parties, vote for me". Since the percentage of people in this country who've had it with both parties might get near 100% by 2012, that sounds like a pretty good strategy.

Second, he talked a lot about national issues. For example, he mentioned the upcoming terror trials in New York and how Constitutional rights protect us, not terrorists. Setting aside Mr. Brown's tragically simplistic understanding of how Constitutional rights protect us, can anyone tell me what that has to do with being the new Senator from Massachusetts? The answer is nothing, that whole section of his speech was a national campaign section. I could go on, but if you watched Scott Brown last night, I doubt I have to convince you.

So, how does he do it?
Step 1: Health Care. I know I said this election wouldn't impact health care, but I'm having second thoughts. I may have underestimated the cowardice of Democrats (impossible right? maybe not). I could see 6 or 7 moderate Democrats using this as an excuse to run scared from the health care bill. This would reset the issue and Mr. Brown would be in a unique position to show himself to be a reasonable Republican who will break from his party leadership and support a good bill that covers more people and regulates the industry. Normally a brand new Senator wouldn't be able to get in and be such a big part of such a major bill, but the Democrats will work with him if he's the only Republican willing to talk. The chances of Brown actually doing this? Like .0001%, but he should.

Step 2: Vote Against Earmarks. All of them, and don't even think about taking any for Massachusetts. In reality, this is pretty stupid. Earmarks are a big part of how we get federal money to the states, which is sometimes necessary. But guess what? Most voters don't know that, they think earmarks are all multi-million dollar highway rest areas named after members of Congress, and people hate earmarks. Plus, if Scott Brown does plan on running for President, he doesn't have to worry so much about what he gets for Massachusetts, because he's not planning to go back there. The chances of this happening may actually be pretty good.

Step 3: Don't Say Crazy Things. Don't call the President a socialist. Don't say the health care bill includes death panels. Basically, get away from the Glenn Becks of the world. Brown wants independents, you can't get them by standing next to the lunatics. People are looking for someone reasonable, someone who can respectfully disagree and offer a better idea.

Step 4: Learn. I still say this is Sarah Palin's biggest ongoing mistake. Look, she was pretty dumb in 2008, but they grabbed her out of the middle of nowhere and asked her to be the VP candidate, so what did we expect? She should have finished her term as Governor, disappeared for six months while getting a crash course in everything and then come back looking smart and knowledgeable compared to her earlier self, and ready to run. Instead, she released a book and decided to work for Fox.

I don't know if Scott Brown is stupid, but I know he's never been a national figure before and he'll have a lot to learn on national (and international) issues. He needs to go to school (ya know, metaphorically, he doesn't have time for actual school, he's a Senator now). Learn everything he can about foreign policy, national security and everything else a serious candidate needs to know about. Running for President isn't about being right all the time, it's about having an informed opinion all the time. He needs to resist the temptation to mock so-called "academic elites" and, instead, get a little elite himself. Being elite isn't a bad thing. Knowing more than your opponent isn't a bad thing. I don't know if Scott Brown can get to where he knows more than Barack Obama, but he can at least get to where he looks like he belongs on the stage with him.

These aren't the only things he'd need to do, but they're the first things that come to mind for me. Will these four things get him my vote? Hell no. The Republican platform has so many positions that annoy me right now, he'd really have to piss off the party to get me to consider him. But I'm just one vote. I'm talking about getting 50.1% of people to vote for him. Do I think that will happen? Probably not. But like I said, I'm not saying Scott Brown is going to be the next President, I'm just saying he wants to, so he's worth keeping an eye on.