Winners And Losers

My Brain: "Hey, we haven't written anything in while and this Lebron thing seems pretty big. You feeling up to it?"
Me: "I don't know, can you think of a good angle to come at it from?"
My Brain: "Hmmm, how about some kind of winners and losers thing?"
Me: "I don't know, that sounds kind of dumb."
My Brain: "Well if you wanted better ideas, you should have drank less in college."
Me: "Fair enough."

Loser: Jim Grey (Gray? Grey? Whatever)
I counted 14 questions before he asked Lebron where he was actually going. Fourteen. FOURTEEN!!!! I know Jim probably didn't get to decide the questions or the order of the questions, but it was live TV. Just ask the man.

Winner: Dwyane Wade
No matter how many titles they win in Miami, he'll always have one more than Lebron, it'll always be his city and we'll always say Lebron never won a title without Wade. Plus, it won't take long for Miami fans to figure out that they still want Wade taking the big shot at the end of the game, because Lebron isn't a closer. Wade gets to play alongside the most talented player in the world and still be the leader of his team. Good stuff.

Loser: The Nets and The Clippers
If you were a crazy Russian billionaire, wouldn't it make more sense for you to pay the KGB to kill the owner of a successful NBA franchise, and then buy that franchise, then it would for you to buy the Nets. Travis Outlaw? Seriously? And the Clippers? They didn't even get a sniff of any of these guys. When ESPN did their little montage of fake pictures of Lebron in different jerseys, they didn't even include the Clippers. What a disaster.

This is one of the unintended consequences of a salary cap. Once a franchise becomes a complete joke, there's almost nothing you can do to fix it, because you can't just overpay for better players they way the Mets did with Pedro Martinez and Carlos Beltran.

Winner: Kobe Bryant
The 2010-2011 Heat are essentially shaping up to be two superstars, one all-star, maybe one mid-level exception type guy and eight minimum salary stiffs. When the Lakers dismantle them in the finals next June, all the Kobe haters will have to permanently sit down and shut up.

Loser: The Knicks
I know they got Amare Stoudamire, and I actually like him more than I like Chris Bosh. Having said that, the Knicks were the first team to start gutting their roster and clearing cap space for this summer. Everyone knew they were gunning for Lebron. You can't sell me on anything less being anything other than a disappointment. This would be like getting engaged and deciding to save sex for your wedding night. Then, when your wife takes her wedding dress off in the honeymoon sweet, you realize she's actually Amare Stoudamire. Bad times.

More importantly, you can't like this from a basketball standpoint if you're the Knicks. Mike D'Antoni plus younger Amar'e plus Steve Nash never even equaled a finals appearance. Now you're telling me Mike D'Antoni plus older Amar'e with a shaky knee and a bad eye minus Steve Nash is getting you a ring. A ring you'll have to win by going through a Miami team that now has 60% of the eastern conference all-star starting line-up. Good luck with that.

Undecided: Chris Bosh
I'm still on the fence about Bosh. On one hand, he gets to go along for the ride and probably win a couple of titles. On the other hand, he gets to spend his prime being the third best player on his team. I guess if I had to choose, Bosh is a winner, because it's not like he was going anywhere on his own. He needed help, and now he's got it.

Undecided #2: The Bulls
Carlos Boozer isn't exactly Lebron James or Dwyane Wade, but they've got a pretty good young team out there in Chicago. I think they can get to the conference finals against the SuperHeat. They'll be underdogs, but it wouldn't be a shock if they pulled the upset.

Biggest Loser: Cleveland
This one's obvious, but still. What a punch to the gut, and on national TV. The first time the Heat visit Cleveland, I'd like to see the whole home crowd spend the entire game standing with their backs to the court. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow to the news that Cleveland had been completely abandoned.

Biggest Winner: Steven A. Smith
This whole Lebron announcement thing had no suspense for me, you know why? Because sometime last week I heard Steven A. say Lebron, Wade and Bosh were going to Miami, and it was a done deal. When Steven A. talks about basketball, I listen. After he nailed this story, Steven A. could break the story that Shaq and Kobe were reuniting to play together in Norway and I'd believe it.